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Recenzija. Daiva Ausėnaitė. Kur dėti tą antrą kūną?


2008-07-15



Milorad Pavič. Antrasis kūnas: romanas. Iš serbų kalbos vertė Vytas Dekšnys. - Vilnius: Lietuvos rašytojų sąjungos leidykla, 2007.


Ar kada pagalvojote, kad galite turėti antrą kūną? Ne, aš ne apie klonavimą. Apie antrą kūną, kuris yra tarsi antrasis jūsų „aš“. Rašytojas Miloradas Pavičius knygoje rutulioja be galo patrauklią ir „kabinančią“ idėją. Perspėju, skaityti šią knygą reikia kantriai. Ji nėra lengva, pasakojimas painus ir viskas aiškėja labai jau po truputį. Tačiau už kantrybę būsite apdovanoti. Apdovanoti nuostabia idėja, nepakartojamais personažais ir visiškai laukta atomazga.


Jėzus turėjo antrą kūną?


Knygą rašo miręs vyras, kuris, kaip sakoma, nuo „Adomo ir Ievos“ pradeda pasakoti visą istoriją. Kaip jis susipažįsta su moterimi, paskui jie vis ieško ir bando įsigyti keistų daiktų: užkalbėjimą, spalvas keičiantį žiedą. Vėliau išaiškėja, kad tie keistai daiktai yra labai svarbūs. Žiedas yra įrodymas to, kad žmonės turi antrus kūnus.


Sąvoka „antras kūnas“ įsuka minčių ratą: gal ir jums kada teko pasijusti tarsi būtumėte susidvejinę? Atsiduriate kažkokioje erdvėje, kur yra kažkokie žmonės. Nesvarbu, patinka jie jums ar ne, bet jus su jais bendraujate. O kai grįžtate vakare namo pagalvojate, kad porą kartų matėte save lyg iš šalies. Jus žiūrėjote į tą kitą savo kūną, kuris tuo metu juokėsi iš juokelių, pats kažką sakė juokingo, o gal, atvirkščiai, bandė būti labai rimtas, svarstyti globaliai tuščiomis temomis. Atrodė, kad tas jūsų kūnas, kuris viską stebėjo nebuvo labai patenkintas tuo, ką darė tas kitas kūnas…


O kartais būna, kad ne itin draugui imi ir išlieji savo vidines mintis ar kokį savo praeities įvykį? Ir kol aistringai pasakoji, vėl matai savo kūną iš šalies. Stovintis šalia norėtų tą kitą kūną užčiaupti, bet kažkodėl negali to padaryti. Stebintysis kūnas mano, kad nereikėjo taip atvyrauti…


Šizofrenija? Galbūt taip ir pasakytų medikai. Tačiau knygos autorius šią teoriją gina remdamasis net Naujuoju Testamentu, tiksliau apaštalo Jono rašyta evangelija:


<...> Prie Tiberiados ežero Jėzus savo mokiniams pasirodė savo antruoju kūnu, „Mokiniai nepažino, kad ten Jėzaus esama“. Tik kai Jis paklausė: „Vaikeliai, ar neturite ko valgyti?“ ir kai atliko stebuklą, ir jie sugaudė daugybę žuvų, Jonas pasakė Petrui: „Juk tai Viešpats!“ Taigi jie pažino jį iš darbų ir iš balso, o ne iš kūno ir veido.“


Vėliau sąvoka „antras kūnas“ dar papildoma. Kai žmogus miršta, reikia jam uždėti tą stebuklingą žiedą ir jis parodys, ar žmogus bus laimingas, turės pasisekimą meilėje ar jį lydės gera sveikata. Bet. Kieno ateitį buria žiedas? Mirusio žmogaus? Ne. Jis rodo jūsų antrojo kūno ateitį. Šiuolaikiniais terminais tai, matyt, galima būtų pavadinti reinkarnacija.


Apie personažus


Tik jau gale atsiskleidžia paini romano konstrukcijos logika. Glumina, kad kiekviename skyriuje vis nauji herojai, o pasirodo, tai yra kūnai – pirmieji ar antrieji. Neatimsiu to džiaugsmo, kai staiga „neaišku“ tampa „aišku“. Pats skaitytojas lai išsiaiškina, kurie kūnai buvo pirmieji, kurie antrieji; kurie kieno.


Galima žavėtis rašytojo išmone. Jis sukūrė tikriausiai patį originaliausią velnio paveikslą. Tai maža, švepluojanti mergaitė su trimis nosimis, kanopėlėmis ir gražia suknyte. Ir nuolat šniurkščiojanti viena iš nosių.


Romano herojus, tiksliau, autorius (nes kai kuriuose skyriuose rašoma pirmuoju asmeniu) nuo pirmųjų eilučių neslepia, kad dabar jis yra miręs. Knygos gale, kai išaiškinama ir patvirtinama antrojo kūno hipotezė, autorius atskleidžia, pagal jį, elementarią tiesą. Jis yra miręs, bet parašė šią knygą savo žmonos rankomis, nes turėdamas antrą kūną bendravo su ja. Painu be galo ir ne mažiau keista. Tačiau romanistas vertas pagyrų, nes keistai savo idėjai surado pagrindimą. Nors pastaruoju metu visi kažkodėl dažniau ėmė žvagytis į Evangeliją ir ten ieškoti visokių idėjų pagrindimų ir hipotezių patvirtinimų.


Smagiausiai gal skamba tiesiog šiuolaikinio, viskuo norinčio tikėti žmogaus argumentas, kodėl verta tikėti antrojo kūno idėja. „Pagalvok, kas tokią tobulą kompiuterinę ir programinę įrangą kurtų tik vienkartiniam naudojimui?“


Mielas ir netradicinis lietuvio skaitytojo akiai turėtų atrodyti serbiškas kunigas, kuriam po mirties išburiama Meilė. O šiame gyvenime jis atsisako šventvagiškos meilės su moterimi ir netgi ryžtasi išgerti kokių tai žolių nuoviro ir susijungti su medžiu, kad visa jo praeitis būtų ištrinta. Smagiai skaitėsi šio kunigo dialogas su kitu kunigu, kuris pagal keistus įsitikinimus, turėjo jį nužudyti. Kodėl? Taip liko ir neaišku. Pacituosiu keletą šio pokalbio minčių: „<...> Žmogus, kaip Kristus, negali prisikelti savo šios žemės kūnu, jo siela nuneša anapus kapo jo ar jos kitą kūną, nes žmogus dar neperėmė Kristaus misijos ir nesutapatino savo žemiškojo kūno su savuoju dvasios kūnu tame pačiame laiko momente, toje pat dabartyje, kaip padarė Kristus. Tačiau Kristus savo pavyzdžiu mus moko: žiūrėkite, galbūt ir jūs, nuėję mano keliu, pajėgsite įgyti abu kūnus vienu metu! Taigi tai reiškia eiti ne tik Kristaus sielos, bet ir Kristaus kūno keliu…“


Kur dėt tą antrą kūną?


Mano skaitymo skubą pristabdė vienas sakinys: „<...> susirandi savo antrąjį kūną, save ir po to nežinai, kaip nuo savęs pabėgti.“ Išties, gilių apmąstymų vertas sakinys. Kaip sunku kartais susigyventi, kiekvieną dieną susitarti, priprasti, susitaikyti, atleisti ir priimti savo pirmąjį, aiškiai suvokiamą kūną. O jeigu dar būtų antras? Kuris galbūt ne visada elgtųsi taip, kaip priimtina pirmajam jūsų kūnui. Ką su juo daryti?..


O nepagalvojate, kad kartais mūsų vaikai ar sutuoktiniai, su kuriais gyvename šimtus tūkstančių metų tampa antraisiais mūsų kūnais. Juk juos pasirinkome, nes įžvelgėme tame žmoguje savo atspindį – geresnį ar blogesnį, drąsesnį ar tylesnį, nuolankesnį ar labiau maištingą. Jame radome tai, ką savyje slopinome ir po to ilgus metus žavėjomės juo, o gal tomis jo savybėmis. Po kurio laiko tos savybės ėmė erzinti, nes teko vėl apsiprasti gyventi su savimi. Antruoju savimi, kuris turi antrą kūną ir vaikšto šalia, guli šalia ir valgo šalia. Vaikas – tai jau, matyt, trečiasis jūsų kūnas, gimęs iš pirmojo ir antrojo jūsų kūno. Painu? Šizofreniška? Taip! Bet būtent dėl tokios minčių atakos, kurią sukelia ši knyga ji įgyja amžinumo atspaudą. Tai reiškia, kad po daugelio metų gal ir neprisiminsi siužeto, tikrai nežinosi herojaus vardo, tačiau prisiminsi tas mintis skaitymo metu. Dėl to jos ir yra amžinos, nes priverčia ne tik bukai stebėti herojų gyvenimo peripetijas, bet ir mąstyti. Knyga, kuri atitraukia žmogų nuo minčių apie buitį, verta amžinumo ženklo, nes kol jis mąstė, antrasis kūnas galėjo matyti, kaip viduje jis augo.


Bernardinai.lt



Straipsnis parengtas bendradarbiaujant su

Rodyk draugams

~ mari88 | 2008-07-19.

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